Spain Life - Sports commentators

It's the middle of the  summer sporting calendar in Spain. But the bad news means that we are be subjected to one of my pet hates. Spanish sports commentators

Perhaps it is because I grew up during a golden age of commentators during the 70s, people like David Coleman, Peter Allis, Dan Makil, David Vine, Harry Carpenter and of course the peerless Murray Walker. They had the gift of making you feel part of the action, giving you informed and impartial advice and most importantly, knowing that they didn't have to fill every millisecond of the broadcast with chatter.

A lesson that is lost on Spanish commentators. Whatever sport they are covering, Spanish commentators feel that they have to get behind their team to an overwhelming extent. The worst example of this is Formula One. Sunday afternoon commentary on Formula One is not so much a sporting event, more of a cult to the Church of Fernando Alonso.

It doesn't help that the commentator Antonio Lobato obviously has a huge man crush on Fernando. I've watched several interviews that Lobato has conducted with Alonso and they have been toe curlingly bad. In one interview Alonso pushed the bald Lobato into a swimming pool and he came out with such a coy grin that I thought he was going to ask Fernando to towel him down.

The actual commentary is even worse. I'm not for a second doubting that Alonso is a massively talented driver (I friend of mine once had a Formula One test drive against the young Alonso and when asked why he was a second behind him on the timesheet replied “Because he’s Fxxxxing quick!”) But no matter what is happening in the race, all focus is on the blessed Fernando. And heaven forfend that he’s knocked out of the race.

This reaches its peak whenever Lewis Hamilton is mentioned. The Spanish demonise the British driver to the extent that a few years ago the Formula One coverage to every race had a ‘comic book’ style intro with Alonso as a Spanish hero, while Hamilton was an evil robot. I dropped my pre-race bowl of salted peanuts the first time I saw that, I can assure you. It may say a lot for Hamilton's composure that he did not make a complaint to the Spanish broadcasters. James Hunt would probably have flattened Lobato with a single punch.

But it's not just Formula One that suffers from this. Tennis is the same, and I remember being unable to find the Wimbledon Men’s Final on Spanish television because Rafa Nadal had been knocked out in the semis.

Eating Out – The Boardwalk

The Boardwalk, which celebrated its first annivesary last month, has been a roaring success, bringing a slice of glitz and glamour to the Marbella paseo that had mainly been the haunt of tourist themed restaurants before. The Boardwalk has quickly become the most popular place to meet, grab a quick coffee or enjoy something more substantial.

You can't fault The Boardwalk's location. The restaurant offers uninterupted views of a mirror smooth Mediterranean. Several jet skiiers were making the most of the conditions and bombing across the sea at an impressive rate of knots, but the most strenous activity that were going to do was order a sundowner and enjoy the sunset. It's a great place to watch the world go by.

Easily one of the best looking restaurants in Marbella, The Boardwalk boasts comfortable sofas tables for more formal dining and attentive and attractive staff.

One of the several great things about The Boardwalk is the atmosphere. There was a real mix of ages and nationalities, including a group of ladies who lunch enjoying a chilled glass of cava, young couples having a more romantic evening, eldery couples enjoying afternoon tea and families having  a big meal out. Boardwalk is popular with familes and is very child friendly and a lot of that comes down to the friendly staff. They enjoy working there and it shows in the excellent service.

Deciding against my normal burger, went for something a little different. For starters I chose the soft shelled crab, which had an authentic melt-in-the -mouth flavour. The main course was salmon en croute, a classic dish that was beautifully presented. It tasted as good as it looked, with a fantastic sauce.

I finished with a home made carrot cake that tasted sinfully delicious and had me resolving to step up my heath and fitness regieme if I wanted to have a perfect beach bod this summer! Needless to say some I have a long way to go in acheiving this...

Top marks to all the team at The Boardwalk. For atmosphere, location, service and, of course, great value for money it really is hard to beat.

The Boardwalk, Avda, de la Fontanilla 1, Paseo Maritimo, Marbella.

Tel 952 864 736

www.theboardwalkmarbella.com

Smoke on the water

Living in a cottage (the Casita del Lago) in the middle of a UNESCO designated biosphere, fire has always been one of my biggest fears. I'm not so concerned about the danger to myself as the Casita is lakefront and so in the event of a blaze my plan of escape mainly consists of grabbing 50 Shades the cat, leaping into one of the kayaks and paddling madly away from any blaze.

But earlier this summer my worst fears came true when fire struck the hills. It was a Sunday and, as I had a couple of guests saying over from Switerland, we decided to hit the beach. I also host a radio show on a Sunday, and not wanting to be disturbed from my few hours of free time with my (female) companions, I turned my mobile off. As I parked the car outside the studio later that day, I switched the phone back on and it immediately began ringing.

The first call was from Marco, one of my neighbours. He told me that there was a fire close to the Casita, and when I asked him how bad it was, he answered “Ufffff”. Marco is a lawyer and not prone to exaggeration, so I knew “Uffff” was serious.

 The Yummy Mummy (a very attractive neighbour, if you were wondering) was next on the phone, saying that she could see the smoke from her place, about halfway up the Istan road, and I should get up there sharpish.

 As I speed up the road I could see the plumes of smoke rising further up the valley. I was halted by a Guardia Civil roadblock and I told them that I lived on kilometre 11. Where was the fire I asked?

“Kilometre 11” they replied.

 Shit.

 I was allowed to drive up to kilometre 10, where I could clearly see flames as well as helicopters dropping water. At a second road block I was told that I would not be allowed to drive down the track to my house as it was too dangerous.

Two hours later the fire was still burning so I decided to go back to the beach. The girls had fully embraced the beach lifestyle and I found them chilling out on their sunbeds. When I broached the rather sensitive subject of the possibility of the Casita being burnt to the ground they shurgged. “If the house has burnt down, have a mojito. And if the house hasn't burnt down, then have a mojito!!!”

 Later that night we were allowed back down the track to the Casita. The house was untouched but it was close, as the fire had started just 500 metres to the north and the wind was blowing in the opposite direction. That night we stood on the terrace and watched the torches of the firemen as they made sure the fire was out. The fire had caused damage, but without the skill of the helicopter pilots and firefighters it could have been much worse.

Marbella - A quick crash course.

Like or loathe it Marbella is Spain's most famous resort is set to enjoy another record breaking summer as tourists, celebrities and investors continue to the town. While the political situation in Marbella has changed recently, with a coalition of left wing parties booting out the right wing Partido Popular (and rasing a Rainbow Flag above the town hall that upset the conservatives) the combination of a superb microclimate and enviable lifestyle as well as a glitzy dash of designer brands and a constant stream of celebrities, from Hollywood starred A list to reality show Z list, means that Marbella can pretty much ignore the political bunfighting and get on with the serious business of having a good time.

 It's not all tourists and celebs, however. The past 12 months have seen the luxury residential property market show real growth. Internationally renowned as a playground for the rich and famous, Marbella boasts literally miles of stunningly beautiful beaches, a favourite spot for golf enthusiasts and has an enviable climate. Property values have historically been very high, and although the recent economic crisis resulted in a realistic realingment in prices, the past few months have seen values begin to rise as international investors have once again begun to look seriously attracted by the country’s low prices, investment opportunities and lifestyle. International property analysts have highlighted three prime areas for international investment – Madrid, Barcelona and Marbella. Foreign investors have be been attracted to Spain due to the ‘Golden Visa’ scheme – which grants automatic residency to non-EU citizens who invest €500,0000 thousand euros or more in Spanish property. This has has attracted a growing number of residency investors, mainly from the Far East, Middle East and Russia and Marbella Town Hall has been proactive in marketing the town, attending a variety of trade shows and exhibitions in the Middle East, Far East and Russia.

But first a little history. Marbella has been a town since the seventh century BC. The Romans were here of course, and called the place 'Salduba' (which is also the name of a well known bar at the entrance to Puerto Banus that had been there since roughly the same time). An original Roman bridge still stands surreally in the middle of the Puente Romano Hotel and a few kilometres away is the restored Roman villa at Rio Verde with its beautiful mosaics.

 A sleepy town during the period of Al – Andalus, Marbella was retaken my the Christians in 1485. The Plaza de los Naranjos (Orange Square) has been the focal point of the town since then and the Town Hall is still located there. Other historic buildings close by include the Museo de Grabado Español and the Church of Nuestra Señora de la Encarnacion and the old town itself is fantastically atmospheric with its cobbled streets, hidden plazas and great variety of bars, restaurants and boutiques.

 The modern history of Marbella started with the chance visit of a German aristocrat. Prince Alfonso von Hohenlohe was an his way to visit relatives in Sevilla in the 50s and needed to make a telephone call. He was told that no line would be available for several hours, so decided to take a picnic lunch under the pines close to the Finca Santa Margarita. Alfonso fell in love with the place, brought the land and opened a small lodge style hotel for his friends – The Marbella Club Hotel.

 The playboy prince, who dated actresses Ava Gardner and Kim Novak and married several times, soon had both the grand families of Europe and the rich and famous staying at the Marbella Club. Sophia Loren, Audrey Hepburn (who brought a house in nearby Guadalmina), Frank Sinatra, Elizabeth Taylor, Bridget Bardot, Gunter Sachs and Sean Connery were all regular visitors during the 50s and 60s. “The people I had met in Hollywood, in New York, in Europe, they were the roots, the bridge that brought people to Marbella and who made Marbella famous” explained Alfonso. He employed his cousin Count Rudi von Schonburg, who is still very much involved in the Marbella Club Hotel as well as flamboyant Spanish aristocrat and friend of painter Salvador Dali, Don Jamie de Mora y Aragon, who played piano for the guests. No ordinary tinkler of the ivories, the monocled and moustachiod Don Jamie was directly descended from 56 kings and the brother of the Queen of Belgium.

 In 1970 developer Jose Banus opened Puerto Banus with an inauguration attended by Prince Rainier and Princess Grace of Monaco as guests of honour and a young Julio Iglesias providing the entertainment. Puerto Banus quickly became a jet set destination with F1 World Champion often spotted playing backgammon in Sinatra's, while Rod Stewart and The Who's Kenny Jones hit the restaurants. The Saudis also arrived in numbers, with King Fahd building a huge palace while millionaire arms dealer Adnan Khashoggi moored his superyacht 'Nabila' in the marina and flew by helicopter to La Zagaletta, his huge private estate.

 Although some of the glamour went out of the town after the huge scale corruption of Mayor Jesus Gil and his GIL party, the past decade has seen Marbella back in the spotlight for all the right reasons. High profile events such as Marbella Luxury Weekend, which showcases top end designer fashions, good and some serious impressive yachts and cars, as well as the summer long Starlite Festival that this year features Lenny Kravitz, Enrique Iglesias and Lionel Richie attract major media coverage, as do the red carpet charity galas held by Antonio Banderas and Eva Longoria, now a regular fixture on every Marbella socialite's calendar.

And US First Lady Michelle Obama's visit to Marbella a few years ago made the front pages around the world. Marbella Town Hall estimated that her visit generated the equivalent of €800 million in media coverage!

 And then there is the TOWIE factor. Hit UK reality TV show 'The Only Way is Essex' picked Marbella for a summer special with spectacular results. Puerto Banus was soon overrun by Essex Boys and wannabieWAGs, provided a much needed shot in the arm for Puerto Banus. Restaurants such as La Sala and bars including the famous Linekers are 'must do' destinations for the hordes of fans wanting to imitate their idols or bump into a Premiership footballer or two and, though they might not be to everyone's taste, they certainly bring a dash of colour to Banus!

 Written off several times before as being past its sell by date, Marbella continues to attract a steady stream of the rich and famous. As playboy par excellence, the late Sir Dai Llewllyn once told me. “Marbella is like a hostess who, halfway through a party, goes upstairs and puts on a new outfit. The outfit may have changed, but the party continues!”

It’s coming home….again….maybe?

It’s the time every four years that all guys look forward to and most girls dread. A time of male bonding in the bar, proudly pulling on your footie top (that somehow seems a little tighter around the beer belly than the last time you wore it to watch Deutschland 2006) and popping out to see the match for a few hours, only to return several hours later, decidedly worse for wear and with your face painted red and white. Ah, the undefinable joys of following international football.

South Africa 2010 kicks off in Joburg on June 11 with the hosts against Mexico and for the following weeks it will be impossible to avoid the competition. It doesn't’t matter if you have Satellite or Spanish TV, the channels will devote hours of coverage to each teams’ chances, the expectations, the games themselves, a host of expert opinion and the after match autopsies of what went right or wrong.

And you can forget nipping out for the evening to get away from the World Cup. One of the major factors behind the number of people spending more and more time in Marbella is the cosmopolitan nature of the town. This is, however, a double edged sword. The quality of your dining experience will suffer for example. During the World Cup expect to find service in your favourite pasta place a little slow when Italy are playing, forget tapas when Spain take to the pitch and don’t even try to order escargots if France get beaten.

On the plus side if you are a football fan a place like Marbella can be magical during the World Cup, because someone always has a game. And South Africa has set up some mouth watering matches – England v USA and the “Group of Death” with Brazil, Portugal and Ivory Coast fighting to qualify for the knock out stages, while Spain, one of the pre – tournament favourites should cruise past Chile, Honduras and Switzerland in their group. And when Spain win a match you can forget all thoughts of sleep. I was driving through the Port in 1986 when they scored an injury time goal and I swear that the place shot 5 feet in the air…

But the match that the neutral supporter should be looking forward to is Holland v Denmark. Not so much for the action on the pitch but for the atmosphere – large amounts of Carlsberg and Heineken, and loads of liberated Scandinavian or Dutch beauties to hug when either side scores. A word of caution though – don’t try that tactic during any game when any of the Eastern European nations are playing. Hug the stunner from Serbia and you are likely to get a bullet in the back of the head from her large boyfriend at the bar.

You won’t run out of places to watch the matches either, so why not take in the games in a variety of locations? A tapas bar for the Spanish matches, an Italian restaurant when the Azzuri are playing and why not sample a little sushi when Japan are in action. Sitting with a cool beer in a beach bar watching one of the afternoon matches is also a unique pleasure, especially if you normally watch football on a wet Wednesday in Wigan. And as a neutral supporter you may even be adopted by a set of fans as unofficial mascot – which is why there is a photo of me somewhere in San Pedro wearing a massive orange hat and clutching a Heineken. I think that Holland may have been playing. And though I’m disappointed that Ireland were denied by the “Hand of Gaul” my liver will be breathing a sigh of relief. After St Patrick’s Day, the thought of more Guinness would have been too much for it!

Health concerns aside, with the skills of Messi and Ronaldo on show, plus the manic national support behind Spain and the usual white knuckle ride that following England entails, mean that South Africa 2010 will give you the perfect excuse to go football crazy for a couple of weeks!

Happy Birthday Banus!

Puerto Banus celebrates its 40th anniversary this month and the guest list for the official inauguration in May 1970 was a star studded event. Princess Grace and Prince Rainier of Monaco celebrated the opening of the Mediterranean’s first pleasure craft marina along with the likes of the Aga Khan, film director Roman Polanski and Playboy boss Hugh Heffner, who were entertained by a young Julio Iglesias! I was therefore more than a little dumbfounded to discover that Marbella Town Hall had no plans to mark the event at all. After the recent outcry about the Mayor’s trip to New York “to encourage tourism”, Mosca would have thought that having some sort of celebration of a jet set marina on your doorstep that millions of tourists have visited over the past 40 years, would have been a no brainer...

Moto Madness

Motorcycle Madness!

It’s the biggest sports event in Spain attracting over 120,000 devotees of all things 2 wheeled to the normally tranquil town of Jerez for a weekend of motorcycle madness,


You really have to question the sanity of whoever came up with the original idea of building a motor racing circuit in Jerez. The place could be described as sleepy at the best of times and until the circuit hosted its first Spanish motorcycle Grand Prix, Jerez was best known for its riding schools and sherry.

All that changed when the motorcycle boys roared into town, closely followed by their cousins in Formula 1. True, the megastars of F1 with their private jets and blackened out motorhomes didn’t return to race after 1997 (The mayor of Jerez, caught up in the excitement of the occasion, and perhaps with just a little too local product inside him, decided to hand out all the prizes at the trophy ceremony, instead of just 3rd like he was supposed to do so. This upset the officials who where waiting behind him and vowed never to come back!), but the heroes of MotoGP loved the place and the fans adored Jerez.

If you’ve never been to a MotoGP in Jerez, a word to the wise. Get up early! There are a few reasons behind this – assuming that you don’t normally spring out of bed with a song in your heart and a gleam in your eye at 6 every Sunday morning. Firstly you want to avoid the Sunday drivers who are either tooteling slowly along the Ruta de Torros, the scenic road up from Algeciras or getting stuck behind a coach of tourists on the way up to Ronda. Nothing is more frustrating than going to watch motorsport where the riders will be racing at over 200kph, while you’re stuck doing 20 behind the Ronda bus.

When you do get up to Jerez, don’t worry about following the signs to the circuit, you’ll be surrounded by bikers - and we’re not talking about hairy arsed Hells Angels here or posers on their Harleys. The guys passing you on either side of the road are sports bikers, wearing brightly coloured racing leathers that wouldn’t look out of place in the paddock. Even the local motorcycle police get into the act, blowing their whistles and waving their arms like demented track marshals.

Once you’ve got into the circuit itself you have a few options available. Buy a baseball cap, T-shirt or flag to declare your allegiance to your favorite rider (Rossi or Lorenzo are safe options) or grab a beer. Rather than the hushed ambience of other sporting events, Jerez is more like a very macho carnival at times. Ladies, if seen at all, tend to be of the pit lane girl that holds the umbrella over the rider while he’s waiting to start the race or the bike bikini bimbo brigade, posing for some PR stunt or other.

Another specialty of the Jerez race is the fireworks. Without doubt, these are the loudest and longest you have ever heard, and it’s a wonder that the US hasn’t targeted Jerez as next in line for weapons of mass destruction. The firecrackers are especially likely to go off at any time from 7am onwards, covering everybody in smoke and accompanied by fino-fuelled cheers.

When the actually business of racing gets underway the first lap is mayhem. It’s a blur of speed and colour as well as smoke and noise (see fireworks above) You, of course will be sitting next to the Rossi fan with the air horn so pack some earplugs, as well as lunch as catering at Jerez is basic. The sheer speed of the motorcycles is awesome. If you’ve seen races on TV, it looks about half the speed when you see and hear them in the flesh, and every corner looks like a controlled crash. Make no mistake; these guys earn their money.

If a Spanish rider wins one of the 3 races (125,250 and 500cc) you’ll be involved in more partying, liquid and, yes, you guessed it, fireworks, than Carnival at Rio. And if the world’s favorite rider, the super talented Italian Valentino Rossi wins, expect unconventional celebrations. One year at Jerez, he stooped on his slowing down lap, got off the bike and made use of the portaloo at the side of the track!