It's
the middle of the summer sporting
calendar in Spain. But the bad news means that we are be subjected to one of my
pet hates. Spanish sports commentators
Perhaps it is because I grew up during a golden age of
commentators during the 70s, people like David Coleman, Peter Allis, Dan Makil,
David Vine, Harry Carpenter and of course the peerless Murray Walker. They had
the gift of making you feel part of the action, giving you informed and
impartial advice and most importantly, knowing that they didn't have to fill
every millisecond of the broadcast with chatter.
A lesson that is lost on Spanish commentators.
Whatever sport they are covering, Spanish commentators feel that they have to
get behind their team to an overwhelming extent. The worst example of this is
Formula One. Sunday afternoon commentary on Formula One is not so much a
sporting event, more of a cult to the Church of Fernando Alonso.
It doesn't help that the commentator Antonio Lobato
obviously has a huge man crush on Fernando. I've watched several interviews
that Lobato has conducted with Alonso and they have been toe curlingly bad. In
one interview Alonso pushed the bald Lobato into a swimming pool and he came
out with such a coy grin that I thought he was going to ask Fernando to towel
him down.
The actual commentary is even worse. I'm not for a
second doubting that Alonso is a massively talented driver (I friend of mine
once had a Formula One test drive against the young Alonso and when asked why
he was a second behind him on the timesheet replied “Because he’s Fxxxxing
quick!”) But no matter what is happening in the race, all focus is on the
blessed Fernando. And heaven forfend that he’s knocked out of the race.
This reaches its peak whenever Lewis Hamilton is
mentioned. The Spanish demonise the British driver to the extent that a few
years ago the Formula One coverage to every race had a ‘comic book’ style intro
with Alonso as a Spanish hero, while Hamilton was an evil robot. I dropped my
pre-race bowl of salted peanuts the first time I saw that, I can assure you. It
may say a lot for Hamilton's composure that he did not make a complaint to the
Spanish broadcasters. James Hunt would probably have flattened Lobato with a
single punch.
But it's not just Formula One that suffers from this.
Tennis is the same, and I remember being unable to find the Wimbledon Men’s
Final on Spanish television because Rafa Nadal had been knocked out in the
semis.
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